A few days ago, one of my friend-boys inquired as to why I spent money on good makeup (i.e. mac and sephora) and why I cared about the way I dressed. Honestly, it's not because I'm dressing to impress and if I am, it's more for my own benefit than anyone else's. Every day, my makeup and my clothes reflect who I am, how I'm feeling, what person I want to be today. It's an opportunity to be something that I'm not, or an opportunity to try something that I want to be. It's like practicing- every day we reinvent ourselves, have the opportunity to change how we play and how we think, except it's much harder to break those habits in our personality. (Not to mention that certain colors go together better than others, you can always tell a person by her shoes, and one should maximize one's potential.)
On the flip side, makeup can also be a way of hiding, a way of saying, "hey, i don't think i'm beautiful and neither will you. that's why i'm putting this gunk on." And yes, I have absolutely been bitten by this toxic thought. The beauty industry is constantly telling us to be younger, thinner, less wrinkled, and without grey hairs, creating this unachievable standard of perfection, that is now the baseline by which we judge people. I judge, you judge, everyone judges. (she's pretty, he's hot, she's chunky, etc) But every once in a while, I look at someone who might otherwise be slighted by society and see something that other people forget. Maybe it's a milky way of freckles on their neck, the contour of their bones, the radiance of their eyes- there is a palpable beauty in everyone that is often neglected. I wish that I had seen my own beauty earlier, as I have generally hated my appearance for most of my life after preschool. Maybe I'm at an age where other people are still superficial, and maybe I'm waiting for a change in people that will never occur. But I still hope and believe that everyone has the capacity to love, and everyone deserves to be loved. I always hope that my friends will be loved as much as they deserve, both by me, and by everyone else. I hope to find the beauty in my enemies, and to continue to cultivate a love for all, including myself. cheers.
currently listening to: thank u by alanis morissette.
also, am currently eating extra sharp cheddar cheese. delicious.
1 comment:
yum to both extra sharp cheddar and thank u. i was listening to that song today and rediscovering what it's about! i like it. i like you. blogg on!
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