Why you might suck, even if it sounds ok

One of the issues I've been grappling with this week is what it takes to be a musician. Granted, it's not exactly a small issue, and I have a sneaking suspicion that other people think about this more often than I do, and have a variety of opinions on the matter. But since Wednesday, when Erin and I commiserated over the "boring-ness" of people here, I feel like I've been surrounded by signs of artistry and inspiration. All of the books I have opened have magically referenced said topic, and have corroborated my opinions on inspiration, emotion, and feeling. Here's some of what I've learned so far:

1) Great musicians are not great because they have technical facility or play in tune. They are great because they are artists, probing into "that almost indescribable realm of human depth." (Mastery of music, 7)

2) Music making can be thought of as mastery of technique, performance, and SELF. If you are on a journey to discover yourself and where you fit in within the world, and you long to communicate such an experience, you will affect people.

3) Artistry is such a loaded term. It's kind of a bullshit way of describing something that words cannot really do justice to. But we all (or many of us) can think of it in our lives. We can think of a time when a piece, a concert, a performer moved us to a place we hadn't been to before. We can think of a book, a painting, a play or movie that changed our perception of time, space, and the present. Artistry is undefinable, yet palpable.

4) Why do music? Why do any art? Because you have to. Not because it's lucrative (hardly), not because it sounds pretty (not always), not because it's what you're good at or it's easy (definitely not). You do art because you have to. On Thursday, on the way back from getting my car's oil changed, I heard an interview with Dolores O'Riordan of the Cranberries, in which she said, "I write songs because I have to. It's a process of getting inside myself-do I need to see a shrink? Maybe. I'll write a song about those issues." Peter Maxwell Davies said, "if nobody remembers my music ten years after my death, it won't matter...I compose because it is an ongoing process of self-refinement." Music making is as much of a process, and even though we don't actively create things in the way a composer does, we should be no less inspired, creative, and thoughtful. And yet, here and now, music making in the incubated environment of college is droll and lifeless, stale, and emotionless- people are filled with sawdust dreams, spewing empty words, with vacant eyes and a static heart of constancy. How can I, an inconsistent person with so many thoughts and feelings, scarred emotions and skin, compete with the hollowness? I don't know, but I try.

5) Bobby McFerrin has a beautiful quote which summarizes what I want from music, from art, from all things:

When I go to a concert, I don't want to leave the hall the same way I entered. I want transcendence. i want something to happen to me in there, so that when I elave the hall, I've been touched in a deep, deep way-by magic, by some holy accident. I'm singing this song, and all of a sudden I hear this voice in the balcony singing along with me. Something happens which makes people feel they have been asked to step outside themselves a little bit, to help create the musical space. That's what I want, and I think that is what everybody wants.

I've felt this so many times at popular music concerts- a moment when the crowd and the artist communicate as one thing, when a song touches everyone in a way they had not predicted, when you feel a deep inexplicable love for the performers, the audience, for the world. This is what I want to communicate. This is what I want to evoke, to create. Art has the power to change you-so why are people just fucking around here? I don't know. But I'll keep searching for it, for transcendence.

Quotes of note:

The light shines in darkness and the darkness has not understood it.

Nothing is better than music. When it takes us out of time, it has done more for us than we have the right to hope for: it has broadened the limits of our sorrowful lives; it has lit up the sweetness of our hours of happiness by effacing the pettinesses that diminish us, bring us back pure and new to what was, what will be and what music has create for us. -nadia boulanger

Music making is constructed of correct notes, correct rhythms, dynamics and articulation. But the mortar is human trust of self and others, belief in self and others, and love of self...if one believes that music is self-expression, then it should follow that one must have aself to express. Before one is able to conduct and evoke artistry...one must spend a considerable amount of time on oneself, on one's inside stuff.

awareness is a necessary condition for the artist in the world. Without awareness, there can be no growth, little honest music, and little love.

...many times, there is something missing in the sound: that something which provides a brilliance of color and accuracy of pitch that is unmistakable if one is listening. What is missing? What is missing to those who really listen is a humanness to the sound. A sound that is born because of the conductor's selflessness and understanding of human love through music.

-james jordan

currently listening to: the department of eagles. soooo good.

Nuit Blanche

Here are some photos from last weekend's spontaneous
trip to Toronto for Nuit

Blanche- a crazy outdoor art festival that happened from 7 PM to 7 AM! We only made it until 5:30 AM, but it was a load of fun, and was a great way to escape the ROC. The first pic is of me wearing a blanket as a cape at 5 AM in a subway station. One of the art displays featured giving out blankets and hot cocoa to us, as if we were homeless folk. It was interesting and it was cold, so we wanted it!
The second picture is of a firespinner lady. Crazy! The third is of me wearing a box in a box town outside the Metro supermarket, circa 1:30AM.

The waterfall pic is an edited picture of Niagara Falls that we took on the way home on Sunday night.

I love the mural- it was a work in progress and they were painting it as we were there!!!!

The inflatable babies were lining the streets near the art museum. I'm in the foreground, staring at the baby in my hipster apparel.

Anyway, I had a great time, and it sucks to put pictures up on blogger-it's really awkward. But you get the gist...

Does Music Matter?

Does music matter?  That was the "elephant in the room" that was NOT addressed yesterday at Eastman's "Generation E" music conference about entrepreneurship.  My "issues in music" class attended one segment of today's lecture, which was a series of "idea fueling" exercises and activities.  My friend and fellow musician Ben was wondering this very question as we left the conference.  To paraphrase his view, (sorry!) he asked  whether the arts really do matter in the big scheme of things- the world as a whole, world peace, the economy, poverty, etc.  He said, and I agree, that the only way you could even attend such a conference is if you were 110% committed to the importance of music by (mostly) dead (mostly) white (mostly) men.  So my first task, is figuring out, what is the importance of art in our society?  Our economy is down right now, and many of us are wondering, 'have we just put $160,000 down the drain? are there jobs for us, or did we just pursue a dying field?'  So I've decided to do some serious research. Hello Google.

Here are some of the results of my search:

Arts are important because...

They cut across cultural barriers

They integrate mind, body, and spirit.

They provide opportunities for self-expression.

They develop independence and collaboration.

They improve academic achievement.

They exercise and develop higher order thinking skills.

They provide the means for every student to learn.

( courtesy of newhorizons.org)

Let's attack these first.  1) How many of us music students have been to other countries where music has cut across these barriers?  How many of us have experienced this in the US?  I have had only one such experience, in my 22 years of living. 2) Music does this integration, but as a society, we don't necessary place a huge value on this integration.  As a culture, we don't really have an educational system that takes into account mind and spirit combined, and we focus mostly on mind without the other two bits.  3) Self-expression in classical music isn't exactly taught like it might be in visual or dramatic arts.  We are taught to have a good sound, good rhythm, and correct phrasing.  You have to work really hard to put yourself into the creative seat of classical music, unless you improvise or compose.  4) Independence and collaboration are definitely taught in classical music land.  (In fact, we spend so much time alone that we are quite socially awkward.)  But seriously, this is true.  5) Academic achievement: I don't know the stats for this sort of thing, but I do believe it's probably right. 6)Thinking skills: yes, hopefully, musicians have these.  We do have to think about phrasing, sound, playing together, etc.  The question is how many skills we can manage at a given moment.  7) This is the one point that I especially agree with.  As someone working with special needs kids, the arts give them opportunities that typical situations do not.  The arts are not necessarily goal oriented, giving them the chance to develop key skills like coordination, visual tracking, processing, etc.  

What I'm wondering though, is why so little of our professional education gives us the skills to do these things or the opportunities to see the benefits of music as an art.  Now, let's see what google will say about the importance of classical music...

My results are a huge fail.  I instead get basic introductions to classical music and its composers.  Let's reword.  

Apparently, there's a book, "Why Classical Music Still Matters."  Unfortunately, there's no synopsis, so I have no idea what it's about.  Here's a quick quote from a review though.

"Ranging from J.S. Bach to John Adams, the author shows again and again how classical music participates in the exploration of subjectivity, the conquest of time and mortality, the harmonization of humanity and technology, the cultivation of attention, and the liberation of human energy."  

Great.  But don't the other arts do that too?   Isn't "Metropolis" about exploring the harmonization of humanity and technology?  Aren't Jackson Pollack's paintings liberations of human energy?  What makes classical music special?  Apparently, I'm asking a question that no one wants to answer.

I also can find other articles and books on similar subjects such as "Who killed Classical Music?" and articles about the slow death of classical music in America.  One author suggests that classical music is dying because less people are exposed to it, therefore making less personal and spiritual connections to the art itself.  He instead advocates more education at a young age for all children.  I guess the truth of the matter is that no one really knows the value of classical music in the big scheme of life, and that we must all possess a blind faith that what we do is important and meaningful.  How can we make music more meaningful in society?  How can we feel more fulfilled?  These are all questions I'll continue to ponder, and probably pester others to answer.