Personal Ads

I love to look at personal ads.  Maybe I'm a sadist or a nut, actually, I'm probably both, but they are absolute hysterical.  People advertise themselves so crazily.  It's easier for people to post some random information about themselves online than speak to someone in a public place or to greet people at work or school.  Some of my favorite personal ad lines:

"Slave Looking for a Mistress to use and abuse me.  I am obedient and willing." * S&M

"Let me give your breasts the attention they deserve." *just weird.

"Hot single Latin, black, or Asian girl sought by single white male who wears a corset." *cross-dressing?

"Snowmobile partner lady wanted." *strange.

"Where is her?" *grammatical dysfunctionality.

"Single Man seeking a relationship with a lactating female."  *entertaining.

"I have herpes, and so do you!" *bizarrely funny.

"My life is going too well.  Could you ruin it?"  the continuation of this one is: 

"Lately, I've noticed things have been going well.  I've got a promising future.  I'm moderately talented at my job.  Things are stable.  This is bad.  You see, i've become bored.  That's why I need a woman in my life.  Not just any woman!  I need a very special woman.  The kind of woman that will devastate me emotionally, socially, and financially.  Are you that woman?  Here's a short list of the qualities I'm looking for: Be complete insecure about yourself, especially physically.  Fly apart with jealousy when I talk to any other woman for any reason.  Throw huge tantrums over things you won't care about the next day (locking yourself in the bathroom is a plus.)  Change moods instantly and without provocation.  Scream at me in public when you're upset.  Use my money to buy things you don't need and will never use.  Play passive-aggressive mind games.  Show up at my office in the middle of the work day sobbing over some small thing.  Convincingly threaten to leave me at least every other week.  Cheat on me.  Father issues and mental disorders are nice but certainly not required.  

If this sounds like you, please email me."

* sounds like he's had some bad relationships in the past.  Just a guess though.

I get the impression that our society's concept of dating and woman is a little warped, perhaps?I don't know what it all means exactly, but it doesn't bode well for that whole 'true-love', not divorcing a million times sort of thing.  It's like the more methods of communication we possess, the less able we are in actually communicating in person.  (or at all, for that matter.)  We'd all rather email someone than talk to them on the phone, or god forbid in person, and obviously, putting a ridiculous personal ad on the internet is a relatively anonymous way to post your secrets of a bizarre sexual nature.  If confronted in person, you might strongly deny said post, and in fact say that large lactating mammaries are not one of your fetishes, even if craigslist says otherwise.  Strange.