Come out, come out, wherever you are?

Today is nat'l coming out, and seeing that I never have time these days to do much of anything, I thought it would be a nice time to offer solidarity for those who suffer for their sexual orientation, whether privately, spiritually, or publicly.  I am so fortunate to be surrounded by mostly open-minded people who think no less of a person no matter their gender preference, and I'm lucky that I was born into a family that shared that view.  (In other words, a pack of liberals).  So many people suffer for their sexual orientation, and today is just another opportunity to honor all people, remember those who have unfortunately died, and hope that we can all change the culture that we live in to allow all people to feel safe and empowered.  In a very jucispeak moment, I read this letter from a decade ago towards homosexuality, and I thought it was rather lovely.  My interest in Mormon gender and sexuality politics is unusual, to say the least, for a non-Christian semi-Buddhist, but this goes beyond Mormonism and into all spiritual practices which condemn homosexuality.
Here are some of my favorite paragraph:

As the Church "progresses" on this issue, what we are hearing more and more from Priesthood leaders today is the idea that our son is acceptable so long as he practices life-long chastity.  That is, of course, actually called celibacy, and while it's a convenient idea to advance, in practice it is virtually impossible to live.  The distinction between chastity and celibacy seems always to be overlooked by Church leaders.  You may recall that in his somewhat recent newspaper interview in California, President Hinkley compared the plight of homosexuals to that of the single sisters in the Church.  To paraphrase, he said that the Church doesn't ask homosexuals to do anything it doesn't also ask of its other single adult members - to live chaste lives. But this simply isn't true.  As a former bishop I have firsthand experience.  We openly love and support our single brothers and sisters.  We give them important callings - especially with out youth and children.  We urge them to date, to flirt, to get crushes, to fall in love, to marry.  We sponsor Ward and Stake activities and dances to get them together to accomplish this.  We ask them to be chaste - until they find someone to share their life and intimacy with.  We go out of our way to give them something of immeasurable value in the struggle to keep the law of chastity - hope - hope that no matter how difficult this emotional and physical loneliness is, it is temporary.  For those with the least control over their situation, our single sisters, we give special encouragement and hope that they will find love, emotional intimacy and fulfillment in this life - and if not, certainly in the next.
We do not knowingly give homosexuals important callings - especially not with our youth or children who would be at risk of being infected and recruited. We forbid them ever to flirt, to date, to get crushes, to fall in love, to have a legally-recognized monogamous relationship.  The image of a Tri-Stake Gay and Lesbian Gold-and-Green Ball is amusing.  We ask them to be chaste - forever. No hope at all.  The question of sexual intimacy aside - can you imagine having being denied the ability to become attracted to, flirt with, get a crush on, hold hands with, steal a kiss from, or fall in love with you wife?  With all trace of romantic love and emotional intimacy denied you, with what would you fill the void to hold at bay a life of loneliness, emptiness, and despair.


Now, this is not an entirely flawless letter by any means, and I don't agree with all points, but it does add to my belief that all religions, including LDS, have the opportunity for change and growth when conflict arises, and that we all as freethinking individuals have to challenge our social constructs to meet our beliefs and needs.

On that note, I'm so happy for all of my friends, no matter their spiritual background, for being able to be who they are, and for being able to be loved by friends, colleagues, and hopefully their families for who they are.

Good movies I saw over break that most people don't know about

One of the great things about break was that I had the opportunity to see some great art films that are had to have access to here in Rochester. Many people don't know these flicks, and all of them had issues of note (especially to jucispeakers). Here's what I saw and why they mattered:

A Single Man

This is the riveting and beautiful story directed by Tom Ford about being gay, being heartbroken, and being invisible in the 1960's. The story is basically a one-man Colin Firth show about the suffering he incurs after the sudden death of his partner (played in flashbacks by my personal favorite British hearthrob, Matthew Goode) It deals with some major issues in American conservative culture- how Colin Firth's character couldn't go to his partner's funeral, and the family didn't even tell him about it, as they didn't approve of their relationship. It's how being gay in America meant that you were invisible, that you lived in between the cracks, and that you had to defend your right to have valid relationships. The clincher in this comes with Julianne Moore, when she says that Colin Firth's boyfriend was just a minor dalliance, nothing loving and long lasting. This is the kind of the conflict that had to be dealt with- homosexual love is true and as valid as heterosexual love. We're still dealing with it today. Aside from absolutely stunning design elements, I thought it was a beautiful, albeit depressing movie, and I would recommend it to anyone who has affinities towards gay rights, Colin Firth, or the 1960's. (As as a side note, the movie also features the grown up Nicholas Hoult, the infamous boy from "About a Boy" as an amorous student.)

An Education

This is a really interesting movie as well, more for women's issues and education. A young girl's parents are very conservative, insisting that she only study and that she absolutely must go to Oxford. She isn't allowed to listen to music, or go to concerts, or have a life, until older man David takes an interest in her. David wooes her and her parents, and Jenny begins to think that her family obsession with Oxford is a little shallow and useless. Jenny falls head over heels for David and begins to slide in her studies, only to discover later that David was not all he was cracked up to be. At the end of the debacle, Jenny has to reevaluate her own desires, and decide whether she wants to be a wife or a scholar.

While occasionally a little racy, I did enjoy this film, and I thought it had lots of relevant woman's issues. After recently watching Julie and Julia, in which Paul Child was extremely supportive of Julia's endeavors, I had been curious to see how women in the 1950's and 60's were empowered or challenged. This movie gives both sides of this issue- Jenny is smart and hardworking, and is encouraged at school, however her parents deny her the possibility that cultural enrichment are useful in one's studies. When it seems that she might be marrying David, her parents say that she doesn't need to go to Oxford, which really upsets her. She doesn't understand why education was so valued when she could've just been married instead. At the end of it, she puts her own education first, above anything else, and learns more about her priorities than anything else.

Acting was good, with a screenplay by Nick Hornby, and featured some really beautiful and interesting scenes, as well as some really funny ones.

Precious

I'll say the least about this movie, since most people have heard of it. It's a heartbreaking story about a young woman who is illiterate, whose mother is abusive, and whose father raped her multiple times. (She already has one of his children and is pregnant with another one). She gets kicked out of normal school for being pregnant, and has to go to an alternative school where the teacher takes an interest in her and helping her. Precious learns to read and begins to understand that she can't be with her mother anymore. She leaves home and looks for somewhere to live after she has the baby, and looks for a new life, away from the one she has known so well.

Obviously, this one is majorly sad, because it's never fun to watch abusive parents at work, at least not in my experience. Mo'nique, as her mother, is amazing and terrifying, and for me, it was great to see her in a real movie role, as she was in "The Moesha Show" as well as many movies that I'd never see, such as "Phat Girlz." (need I see more?) This movie completes our triple header of movies because it shows how one's persistence can overcome great strife, both personal and gendered. Precious is told that she is stupid and will never succeed or be loved, and she knows that's not true by the end of the movie. While it's the ultimate tearjerker, it's also a very good, harrowing movie that will certainly make you reevaluate your problems.

listening to: sara lov