Me? Really? In Miami?

Yes.  It's true.  I am moving to Miami, at least for the spring. Why? How?  Because I strangely, randomly, and bizarrely have been called by New World to finish off their season for them.  I, who was told that I played so poorly by the excerpt coach at Eastman.  I, who had so many truly dreadful orchestral experiences in my undergrad and at Eastman.  I, who haven't been to an orchestra festival since 2005.  I feel like a cheater!  I just played my first audition for them in March, played decently, but not amazingly, and I still haven't subbed with them normally, and now I'm invited for the rest of the year?  'Tis indeed quite strange, if I say so myself.

In many ways, it was an obvious decision.  Losing money/loans/rent vs. making money.  But on a larger scale, it is evaluating whether the work I'm doing here is so valuable as to forfeit this particular option.  The answer I came up with is no.  I haven't had time to practice enough, by my standards, and I feel like I'm not spending enough time practicing to really get my money's worth.  I'm playing in some great ensembles and some not-so-great ensembles, but neither is something that I couldn't get into if I came back next fall.  I have a lovely apartment with nice roommates, but we're all so independent that my rise and fall will be a fluid transition of a change of guard.  It's scary though-this whole moving/making adult decisions thing.  I'm not used to cool things like this happening, and I know that my parents are a little surprised at the turn of events.  My mom was worried that Roger and Kim would be angry at me for leaving, and I guess they don't really understand how professional engagements work.  You basically go wherever the spirit takes you and do what the universe instructs.  The cool thing, is that I haven't technically been offered a fellowship, because I'm currently enrolled.  I'm going as a full-time sub, which gives me a lot more flexibility after-I can choose to stay (re-audition anyway) or come back to Boston.  I'm frankly terrified at having made such a decision, but neither Roger nor Kim were too concerned, and that's a good thing.  They seemed totally fine with my decision, and the work I've been doing for Kim is not deeply personal.  (She's also going on sabbatical next semester, and she'll spend 6 weeks+ abroad).

There are definite consequences though-I've just reconnected with lots of old friends, and made some good new ones, and now I'm leaving.  I've finally made some good contemporary contacts and Boston, and once again, I'm leaving.  I'm doing my outreach fellowship concerts this week, and that's really picking up well-the whole electric viola/improv stuff is going very well!  I've finally settled into life here, and now I'm leaving.  But it serves me right in many ways.  I've known that I have flexibility in schedule  and finances that few other people have. I'm not getting married any time soon, I don't have tons and tons of loans, and I don't have any real regional ties.  I'm a free agent, and this is what the universe has thrown me.  I've chosen to catch, rather than watch it fly by, and for now, that seems like a good choice.

(As a side note, I notice that NWS has a few slightly silly questions on their website, all of which I have begun putting time into thinking about, even if I don't end up on the website.
Musical Heroes: David Bowie, Kim K., Karen Tuttle, John Lennon, (Sufjan!)
Recently Played: Grizzly Bear, Sufjan, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, Deerhunter
Favorite Piece of Music: Ooh...that's tough.  Avante-garde?  Or old fav like Daphnis?
Interests: improv, children's books, yoga, baking, shoes, loose-leaf tea.
If I were not a musician, I'd be: a merchanise seller for bands.)

Moving is like squeezing your soul into a cardboard box and drowning it

I'm so glad I'm done moving.  For now.  I'm still having anxiety dreams about moving, especially to Boston in the fall.  Last night, I dreamt that I forgot to take out my furniture, and that I instead just left the state without actually moving anything.  I moved out of my Rochester apartment all of last week, and put everything into a storage unit in the Roc.  Then, I have to come back in August, and get a truck, and move stuff to Boston, which will be scary and complicated, because I theoretically have to go to orientation, or at least audition for orchestra, which all occurs before September 1st, when I have an apartment.  So it's going to be bad and scary and all of those usual things.  But more importantly, I simply don't understand how I seem to acquire more things, even though I buy less things each year.  It's like my possessions become more and more unwieldly each year, and then to get them into a truck is like trying to stuff a sleeping bag into it's microcompact little nylon bag.  It felt really good to be sorting, purging, donating, recycling, but then the box moving came, and it was pretty awful, especially since I did most everything myself.  It was sad to be putting my whole life into a bag or box, through it into another box, and then hope that I wouldn't need it for 10 weeks.  Since I'm going to California after Banff, I had to pack for all sorts of weather possibilities, and also had to bring tons of music.  I never realize how much stuff I have, and how much stuff I need, until I have to put it into a box, and make it weigh less than 50 pounds.
It was definitely an insightful experience.  It made  me want to live in 1997, the era of inflatable furniture and jelly sandals, so that moving would be super easy, even though it could cause chafing and blisters.  I also realize that the platform shoes were pretty tall back then, so any space saved with furniture compactness would be lost with the transport of 3-4 inch platform sandals and 28" bell bottoms.  So maybe it's all relative.  Either way, it was stressful, and damaging (bruises! back pain! sliced off part of my finger!) and I'm looking forward to 2 whole months without moving.

On the bright side, my luggage arrived last night, and now I can brush my teeth.  Don't ever overestimate the joy of dental hygiene.  I am also playing Ligeti tomorrow in a class, and Theofanidis on Thursday, and then I will attack some Takemitsu, in the most flowing, beautiful way possible.