I most recently went to the zen center this weekend- on Saturday I did the introductory day of meditation and whatnot, and on Sunday, I went to traditional services at ahem, 8:30 AM.
Zen is intense, a little scary, and very serious. I was kinda frightened for most of Sunday. We started off the morning sitting, facing the wall, for about an hour, which is fine, but I'm weirded out by the stick that you hit people with. That's a little strange for me. I also felt a little odd to not be wearing meditation robes like almost everyone else- I definitely stuck out like a sore thumb, but I also have no desire to wear a russet potato colored robe to conform. The chanting was almost creepy to me, since it wasn't natural speaking but instead somewhat monotone with occasional predetermined fluctuations. The zen center is absolutely beautiful, both indoors and out, and is just a wonderful space. It's hard for me to imagine how zen has appealed to such a group of benign 40-70 year olds, but I can certainly respect that. I love how zen has such a focus on meditation- I really think that's excellent. But the rest of zen seems to either be denying you your earthly life (like when I was informed that reading is in excess...) or telling you that nothing is real (obviously). I also felt like the meditation practice was a little stiff in that you don't meditate on anything in particular, you really just meditate on the breath. I think that's a great practice sometimes, but I really like my lovingkindness meditations and mindfulness. I don't know if I can keep up with all the zen rituals: when to bow, when to stand, when to chant, and I don't know if I really want to. It all really intimidated me and made spirituality cold and impersonal.
Tibetan Buddhism, on the other hand...is the opposite. I went a few weeks ago and was somewhat shocked at the demographic of nice middle aged white folks practicing in what seemed like Buddhism on speed. The alter room is ridiculously colorful and bright, with all sorts of different offerings and pictures of different deities. I was also a little weirded out by that service, since there was no meditation, only prayer, but now I understand that for that school, prayer, chanting, and other things are another path through Buddhism, whereas other schools really focus on the meditation (like zen.) I'll probably go back this Sunday just so I can see if it's better 2nd time around. I know that neither of these places are really my style, but I really just want to be part of a community, and I think I need to join at least one of them...
Listening to: Renaissance music and "dark was the night" compilation
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