I'm conflicted about being here, that's for sure. It's very strange, in many ways. It's like a socialogical study in strangeness, when it comes to the people, but it's such a lovely ensemble to play in (aside from the fact that I've probably had considerable hearing damage from the past 3 weeks, and I have to wear earplugs through most all rehearsals less I have trombone/trumpet caused ringing in my ears) and it's an amazingly beautiful city and area in most ways. I sometimes get really frustrated with the people and the whole social situation, which is pretty much dysfunctional in the highest. I've had conversations with many people in the orchestra, and even though I live and see them every day, they don't say hi. It's ridiculous. I know people still think I'm a sub, which is fine, but I'm just getting tired of always having to explain myself, "no, I'll be here for the next four months, so it'd be cool if you said hi sometimes, because I'm going to think you're a bitch otherwise, and please don't friend me on facebook if you don't say hi to me in the Plymouth, because that means you're lame." I've had that from a lot of people here, and I'm just amazed at the social amatureness of these folks. It shouldn't matter if I'm a sub or not-common courtesy still exists, and you should say hi to people or smile at people that are in the same fucking orchestra that you play in for 3-6 hours a day. Duh. So anyway, that being said, I'm finding my way, and doing my own thing. Yes, I do have a few friends here, but I don't have anyone that's really been my friend throughout the last few years, and it's hard to go from having close friends of longevity, to making new acquaintances that aren't really sure whether or not to invest in you personally, because you might leave. Now that I've figured that out, I'm not so concerned, because I just don't care. I initially felt like such an intruder on this pre-existent social hierarchy, but now that I've seen most people interact with each other, I'm not as concerned about my lack of social skills, frankly. ( Pool-side Keg parties will bring out some suspect personality traits in folks.)I'm doing ok doing most things on my own, and that's how it's going to be, it seems. I think I went the whole day without interacting with anyone, except for two brief conversations in the Plymouth. But it was ok! I ran 4.5 miles in 40 mins, which is terrific, and whenever I get concerned about my social well-being, I just go for a run at sunset, and get pummeled by the infinite beauty and wisdom of this little island at the end of the world. You couldn't wish for a more beautiful crepuscular run.
People are starting to talk to me, little by little-I'm just impatient for people to get with it. But for the next two weeks, I'm focusing on my trip to Boston, and my festival auditions, and that gives me enough to concern myself with that none of this really matters, except improving my tan. That definitely matters.
Listening to: Sigur Ros
People are starting to talk to me, little by little-I'm just impatient for people to get with it. But for the next two weeks, I'm focusing on my trip to Boston, and my festival auditions, and that gives me enough to concern myself with that none of this really matters, except improving my tan. That definitely matters.
2 comments:
you and your tan :P
well you've just hit on the number 1 reason i hate it there. of course i love all the things you love, the fun, the sun, the scenery, and the level of playing simply can't be beat. especially in that new hall!!
my question is, do you think it's worth it? is the social lameness bearable enough to stay longer? people always say you have to have a social life outside of new world for it to work (there's a woman in the portland symphony who met her husband when she was there via almost getting run over by his best friend, and they were lawyers, also not from miami, which seems crucial as well...). so i guess that could be a solution in the long-run, though it is also a question of personal investment.
ha! that's like the scrolling marquee down there: are you worth my personal investment!??
but not to worry, you'll have a lovely time in boston, and then we'll fly back down to miami together and you'll get double-love. yum :)
also, patti (from star wars tour) friended me on fb before she ever talked to me, and we eventually became inseparable. sometimes it's just peoples shy way of taking the first step. of course, this depends on the person, but maybe they friend you because they like you and want to get to know you better...? just a thought. <3
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