Stressed like whoah

I've been stressed...like whoah? since I've gotten back to rochester. I have a ridiculous amount of shit to deal with right now, in terms of auditions and repertoire and concerts and travel and money, and it's all pressing down on me. I also have no idea what I'll be doing next year, and frankly, that scares me...a lot! I have three auditions for "things to do next year" but I don't have time to obsess about any of them in detail, which is rather inconvenient. I also don't know when I'll have time to focus on the New world excerpts on learn Harold in Italy. Aack!!!! I guess part of the problem is that I just don't feel prepared for anything. I know that's not rationally true, but it's damn frustrating. I simply can't play the last movement of the arpeggione sonata amazingly. I don't have the penderecki solidly memorized. I have three weeks. (i guess it could be worse. people do pull their shit together in less time than that, and are simply less prepared than i am.) on the bright side, here's my recording of the loop from the ligeti sonata that i recorded last week.

While I hate doing videos of myself, Bang on a can wanted a video, and i didn't have time to burn a video, since that takes about 45 minutes, so i just put it on youtube and sent them a link. Also, on the bright side, I didn't pass prescreening for Yale or the academy, which is frankly, two less things to truly worry about. I just have a little more room to breathe. Which I need to do.

listening to: the new vampire weekend album