Leaving

I'm driving to Boston today for a moderately humorous audition tomorrow for Yellow Barn, which I'm 95% sure I won't get into, but I'm trying to be optimistic about it being a "positive performance experience." In other words, I'm bullshitting. I'm also trying not to stress out too much, since being stressed has:
1) Made me lose my appetite and my ability to process food.
2) Made me tired all of the time, even after 8-9 hours of sleep.
3) Made me grumpy.
Hopefully, this weekend will diffuse my stress, or at least 6 hours in a car will do that? We'll see. In other news, I'm happy to see some friends in Boston, like Julia! And spend some time with her roomies, and be immersed in the liberal feminist mormon experience. So yes, this will eventually be a good trip, once I chill the f*ck out. (And why won't Itunes open? I haven't been able to open it for a week, which is unfortunate, and I can't update my phone or listen to Contra, except in the car. Suggestions appreciated.)

Watch out

If you watch this video too carefully, or more than once, you will lose it.

That being said, say to yourself that you're glad you don't do drugs.

Personality Stereotypes on facebook

I saw this funny piece from the LA Times that pretty much summarizes all of my facebook gawking.
In other news, I'm proud to have not used farmville, the ultimate facebook game villain, in 5 weeks, ever since I went to california and only had dial-up internet, making my animated farm null.

Proof the white boy can't dance

I often have major crushes on the indie/alternative/other bands...grizzly bear, decemberists, vampire weekend...but this video is absolute proof that my favorite paul simon stylized band singer (graceland era) simply can't dance like everyone else in this video. And it's kind of a amazing. Here is ezra koening soloing with "The very best" and his vocals sound terrific, but man, he doesn't hold a candle to the band's booty shaking. But I manage to love him anyway, even if he is wearing a plaid shirt over a striped or plaid shirt. Too bad he doesn't wear glasses.

In other news, there's a great quote from pitchfork: ""I just love the Grizzly Bear. That project was great. It sounds like these church cathedral chords-- it's just sick what they're doing."
-- Jay-Z, sounding more and more like somebody's cool grandpa every day. The Grizzly Bear!"
I wish grizzly bear would take the hint and make a super sweet collaboration with THE Jay-z. ok? Because that could be awesome.

Stressed like whoah

I've been stressed...like whoah? since I've gotten back to rochester. I have a ridiculous amount of shit to deal with right now, in terms of auditions and repertoire and concerts and travel and money, and it's all pressing down on me. I also have no idea what I'll be doing next year, and frankly, that scares me...a lot! I have three auditions for "things to do next year" but I don't have time to obsess about any of them in detail, which is rather inconvenient. I also don't know when I'll have time to focus on the New world excerpts on learn Harold in Italy. Aack!!!! I guess part of the problem is that I just don't feel prepared for anything. I know that's not rationally true, but it's damn frustrating. I simply can't play the last movement of the arpeggione sonata amazingly. I don't have the penderecki solidly memorized. I have three weeks. (i guess it could be worse. people do pull their shit together in less time than that, and are simply less prepared than i am.) on the bright side, here's my recording of the loop from the ligeti sonata that i recorded last week.

While I hate doing videos of myself, Bang on a can wanted a video, and i didn't have time to burn a video, since that takes about 45 minutes, so i just put it on youtube and sent them a link. Also, on the bright side, I didn't pass prescreening for Yale or the academy, which is frankly, two less things to truly worry about. I just have a little more room to breathe. Which I need to do.

listening to: the new vampire weekend album

vampires, weekends, horchata

New Vampire weekend album IS awesome. Horchata. Remixes. Bliss. Dancing in my apartment. 'nuff said. This is the only band that can make the sounds of Paul Simon hip again, post-Graceland. Afro-beats, rock instruments, a taste of Animal collective...delicious.

In other news, I've also become addicted to the HBO show, TrueBlood, and have spent the bulk of the last three days watching the first season, which is the only one on DVD. This may be a short-lived obsession, since I don't have access to HBO or the second season. But it's fabulous, and 1000 times better than Twilight. In fact, Twilight is kind of a rip-off of this whole series, and I'm glad the books and author are getting her dues, since these totally pwn the Twilight series.

the weird and the hateful

There were a few golden news articles that i read today of strange hatred, that of greece and haiti.

greece is old, but still...

sad, but true.

Good movies I saw over break that most people don't know about

One of the great things about break was that I had the opportunity to see some great art films that are had to have access to here in Rochester. Many people don't know these flicks, and all of them had issues of note (especially to jucispeakers). Here's what I saw and why they mattered:

A Single Man

This is the riveting and beautiful story directed by Tom Ford about being gay, being heartbroken, and being invisible in the 1960's. The story is basically a one-man Colin Firth show about the suffering he incurs after the sudden death of his partner (played in flashbacks by my personal favorite British hearthrob, Matthew Goode) It deals with some major issues in American conservative culture- how Colin Firth's character couldn't go to his partner's funeral, and the family didn't even tell him about it, as they didn't approve of their relationship. It's how being gay in America meant that you were invisible, that you lived in between the cracks, and that you had to defend your right to have valid relationships. The clincher in this comes with Julianne Moore, when she says that Colin Firth's boyfriend was just a minor dalliance, nothing loving and long lasting. This is the kind of the conflict that had to be dealt with- homosexual love is true and as valid as heterosexual love. We're still dealing with it today. Aside from absolutely stunning design elements, I thought it was a beautiful, albeit depressing movie, and I would recommend it to anyone who has affinities towards gay rights, Colin Firth, or the 1960's. (As as a side note, the movie also features the grown up Nicholas Hoult, the infamous boy from "About a Boy" as an amorous student.)

An Education

This is a really interesting movie as well, more for women's issues and education. A young girl's parents are very conservative, insisting that she only study and that she absolutely must go to Oxford. She isn't allowed to listen to music, or go to concerts, or have a life, until older man David takes an interest in her. David wooes her and her parents, and Jenny begins to think that her family obsession with Oxford is a little shallow and useless. Jenny falls head over heels for David and begins to slide in her studies, only to discover later that David was not all he was cracked up to be. At the end of the debacle, Jenny has to reevaluate her own desires, and decide whether she wants to be a wife or a scholar.

While occasionally a little racy, I did enjoy this film, and I thought it had lots of relevant woman's issues. After recently watching Julie and Julia, in which Paul Child was extremely supportive of Julia's endeavors, I had been curious to see how women in the 1950's and 60's were empowered or challenged. This movie gives both sides of this issue- Jenny is smart and hardworking, and is encouraged at school, however her parents deny her the possibility that cultural enrichment are useful in one's studies. When it seems that she might be marrying David, her parents say that she doesn't need to go to Oxford, which really upsets her. She doesn't understand why education was so valued when she could've just been married instead. At the end of it, she puts her own education first, above anything else, and learns more about her priorities than anything else.

Acting was good, with a screenplay by Nick Hornby, and featured some really beautiful and interesting scenes, as well as some really funny ones.

Precious

I'll say the least about this movie, since most people have heard of it. It's a heartbreaking story about a young woman who is illiterate, whose mother is abusive, and whose father raped her multiple times. (She already has one of his children and is pregnant with another one). She gets kicked out of normal school for being pregnant, and has to go to an alternative school where the teacher takes an interest in her and helping her. Precious learns to read and begins to understand that she can't be with her mother anymore. She leaves home and looks for somewhere to live after she has the baby, and looks for a new life, away from the one she has known so well.

Obviously, this one is majorly sad, because it's never fun to watch abusive parents at work, at least not in my experience. Mo'nique, as her mother, is amazing and terrifying, and for me, it was great to see her in a real movie role, as she was in "The Moesha Show" as well as many movies that I'd never see, such as "Phat Girlz." (need I see more?) This movie completes our triple header of movies because it shows how one's persistence can overcome great strife, both personal and gendered. Precious is told that she is stupid and will never succeed or be loved, and she knows that's not true by the end of the movie. While it's the ultimate tearjerker, it's also a very good, harrowing movie that will certainly make you reevaluate your problems.

listening to: sara lov

Bitch in the Kitsch: Part 2

Here's my dad's new favorite cauliflower dish, altered slightly from Food and Wine Magazine:

1. 
   
2. 2 tablespoons raisins
3. 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
4. 1 head cauliflower, cut into florets (4 cups)
5. 1 teaspoon sugar
6. 2 cups tomatoes—drained, peeled, seeded and chopped (possibly add more liquid, fresh tomatoes are best)
7. Pinch of crushed red pepper
8. Salt and freshly ground black pepper
9. 2 tablespoons pine nuts
10. 1 garlic clove, finely chopped
11. 2 tablespoons chopped parsley (or more!)
12. 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 350°. In a small bowl, cover the raisins with water; let stand until softened, about 10 minutes. Drain. (This is a fancy process called maceration!)
2. Meanwhile, in a 10- to 12-inch cazuela or ovenproof skillet, heat the oil. Add the cauliflower and sugar and cook over moderately low heat, stirring, until the cauliflower starts to soften, about 10 minutes. Raise the heat to moderate and cook until the cauliflower is lightly browned, about 5 minutes longer. Stir in the tomatoes and crushed red pepper, season with salt and black pepper and cook until the tomatoes have begun to soften, about 5 minutes.
3. Add the raisins to the cauliflower, along with 1/4 cup hot water, the pine nuts and chopped garlic. Transfer the cazuela to the oven and bake the cauliflower for about 30 minutes, until it is very tender. Stir in the parsley and lemon juice and let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Serve the cauliflower warm.

Welcome back to the ROC. Not.

After a fairly pleasant few day of travel (no traffic in orange county getting to long beach, minimal delays, etc.) I arrived at my apartment building at 11 PM eastern to Rochester's sad, snowy grip. Aside from my inability to even get my shit inside the main door due to snow, I go to the elevator to find that it's not working. I had 100+ lbs of luggage- 1 50 pound suitcase, 1 30 pound duffel, my viola, 3 weeks worth of mail, and my carry on with my laptop, wallet, and books. And i carried that shit up the stairs. 5 flights of stairs. I was pissed and huffing and puffing. Then I get to my apartment, and the lights won't turn on, because of course, I turned the circuits off, and then I turned them back on and the lights still wouldn't turn on. Grrr. And did I mention that my entire apt reeks of pot because my downstairs neighbors have clearly been smoking in my absence???? Aargh! So no, Rochester, I'm not happy to be here. I'm hungry and grumpy and cold and I miss my california, and what do you give me? Shit.

I am delaying a more articulate blog post in light of the current mood in hopes that tomorrow, I will be significantly more objective and positive and this in no way reflects on the course of the semester.

Currently listening: to "girls" the album

Blog absence and more!

I have alas, remiss in my blogging because there is no internet in my house, aside from my parents' archaic dialup. (Need I even mention the challenges of dialup???) And I have little desire to update via iphone, since that's just lame. However, my adventures of the last three weeks have been ripe with adventure and fodder for blogging, from seeing many fabulous movies worthy of discussion (a single man, an education, precious, and fantastic mr. fox) to going to Knott's berry farm and disneyland in the same week, to enduring the slings and arrows of my aunt's furies. We'll get to the juicier postings in a bit, but for now, here are some key points as to what my break has entailed:

1) More shopping than I've ever done, mostly in search of the perfect dress for my Berlioz performance in February.

2) More trips to my grandparents' house, as I am unsure how long they will live, especially since my Aunt f*cked up.

3) Continual rants from the family about my aunt's f%ck up. Here's what happened: my aunt, a year ago, stormed her parents (my grandparents)' home, and said something to the tune of:

"You were never good parents, you were just a drunk with a paycheck." She hasn't spoken to them since, which is totally stupid since they are 87, my grandfather hasn't had a drink in 25 years, and this is an argument 35 years too late. my aunt is 62!!!! It's led to all of those contemplations on forgiveness, love, death, and taking responsibility for one's choices.

4) Movies. mostly good.

5) Practicing

6) Healthy eating (both of my parents have lost a lot of weight in the last 6 months, so we've been eating to help them maintain the loss). We've also been doing lots of long walks, sometimes 6 and 7 miles a day. It makes me really proud that my parents are taking some good initiative towards their health, since I'm the one who is the eco-nazi/healthy food freak.

7) Some interesting talks with my parents about what I'm doing with my life, what I should do if they die, etc.

8) Cat time.

9) scrabble time.

10) some good books.

Fortunately, I have loads of more substantial things to say, I just wanted to get the ball rolling again.