Under Pressure

I've been wanting to post something for a while, but I simply haven't had time. I mean literally, haven't had time to do much of anything recreational. This was more applicable last week before my rinky dink fall break happened, but the tension is escalating again, and well, it's still relevant. So, if I had to pick ONE song that entirely encapsulated the 2009 fall school year, it would be this song. (Too bad I can't either sing like Freddy or David, nor do I have the same androgynous appeal.)

These last few weeks have been SO intense for me! I feel bad for MJ because I haven't had time to hang out, and I feel like a subpar friend. I've also been neglecting many of my friends, because each day, I struggle to make time for a few hours of practicing, which is a bigger challenge than it should be. I've taken to a whole new "workaholic" style schedule- wake up at 7:15, kicking ass in a practice room with green tea by 8 AM, coming home by 9 something, exercising or going to work at the radio station, returning home, practicing, going to class, practicing, blah, blah, blah, eating odd foods for meals, such as apples and raw cheddar cheese, and subsisting on mass quantities of green tea. I used to never do any work after 9 PM- that was my relaxing time. Now, it's prime productivity time! Anyway, I've been feeling overwhelmed with the craziness, and I've realized it's because all of the "powerful" people in my life are intense women. Carol has been pretty intense lately, even though I'm working harder than I ever have and I'm practicing more. I think it's because she can't play much, and she's living vicariously through me to get me up to her intense standards. Either that, or she's melancholy about the injury and is projecting that frustration on me. Or neither. And then my radio station boss is also a woman, also crazy, and very intense. Sometimes she'll tell me to do things without really explaining what to do, and then I'll ask her a question about it and she'll just FLIP OUT. Like yesterday, she told me I had to save a pair of tickets for Marianne. But I have no idea who the hell that is???? So I didn't fill out a piece of paper right, and she lost it, and then told me that Marianne was the Saturday afternoon opera announcer. Well, I never come in on Saturdays, and I only know the weekday folks! My boss is always stressed out, and sometimes, she just flips out for no reason- I've had some really great one liners like, "Well, clearly, math SUCKS for you, doesn't it?" or the more typical "What ARE you doing there? We can't play Gershwin- it's too modern!" So, that's two folks applying the pressure liberally. And then, uh, orchestra excerpts is a bit too intense, because the woman running it is very blunt, and not very complimentary, so even if you practice a lot, she just goes in for the kill, and gives a half-assed compliment in the beginning, just so you don't feel too insecure. Pressure point #3. And lastly, my dear old teaching job is a little insane because of their intense disorganization, and it doesn't help when the kids start yelling and screaming, not because I've done anything wrong, but because they're not quite with it. Needless to say, I've being assaulted some days, or actually most days. A year ago, I was utterly and completely bored, and had nothing to do. Now I have plenty to do, but I'm so overwhelmed that I'm barely making it through the weeks. balance perhaps? Maybe next time. For now, I'll just have to enjoy that $700 monthly paycheck...