I don't accept.

My body is falling apart.  Yours probably is too.  But I will not accept this.  I feel like my entire body is just rapidly decaying in an accelerated fashion, but I'm probably just being dramatic.  Since Wednesday, i've had notable pain in my wrist and forearm, which quickly ended my dreams for a spring break filled with yoga and practicing.  Oh well.  On Tuesday, I was practicing Urdhva Dhanurasana, and managed to feel it quite severely in my lower back, which was also not on the agenda.  Why me, why now?  I am quite bad at accepting the slow  collapse of my body, the slow march towards death.  With all of the little ailments I've been experiencing, it's no wonder.  (Wrist, right knee, left lower back, and left foot).  Actually, I'd probably be better off just cutting off my left side and dealing with occasional knee discomfort.  The funny thing is, the wrist pain isn't linked to any one activity.  I probably played too much on Tuesday, combining a gig with a few hours of bold viola-ing, but it wasn't like one action initiated a well of pain.  So strange.  Now I'm trying the do anything to make it better, since I have to play in orchestra for the next few weeks, my jury is coming up, and carol will FLIP out if things aren't better by next week.  I had been applying heat to it, but now i'm icing it, which is probably what i should have been doing all along.   

      It's amazing how things in life can change at the blink of an eye.  One moment I was riding my bike in newton, the next thing i know, i have a small bout of semi-permanent knee pain.  Whether it's with the body or with people, life moves so fast, and we don't have the time to be prepared for it.  Our only hope is that we can greet the challenges we face with an open mind and stay with it.  With all the discomfort of my wrist, I've managed to keep my brain somewhat in control by reminding myself that 1) I'm on break, so I can heal better   2) At least I can feel my fingers and all of that stuff   3) I could have something worse, like cancer.    I'm not trying to suggest that I've been one big ray of sunshine about this, since I haven't.  But I'm at least trying to keep it together and not freak out too badly.  Things could be worse, things could be better.  But isn't that how it always is?

Currently listening to: Grizzly Bear and Radiohead.