Quickie Post

     I'm thrilled to be going to Boston tomorrow, for Merrick's wedding and for general social contact with friends and civilization.  With my very small group of friends here, sometimes I forget that other people like me too!  I'm thrilled to see everyone that's around, and I only wish everyone was there, which is virtually impossible.  Anyway, here's a quick thought before I travel.

Everytime I drive outside of Rochester, I notice the plethora of roadkill, and I often think of the animal's family or offspring, or whatever.  Maybe it's weird, but I feel awful when I see a mammal smooshed, its limbs splayed in the moment of impact.  Raccoons, possums, deer- I feel for them.  I often say a little lovingkindness prayer, just because I see so many dead animals each week.  To teach, I drive 3-4 hours a week, mostly in the outskirts of Rochester, where there are lots of animals, and less humans.  If I feel this way about roadkill, you can imagine how I feel about war, hate, and the like.  I don't understand why I feel things so intensely that other people can just shrug off.  It's not just animals, it's everything.  When I see someone I don't know who looks gloomy, I feel sad too.  If I go to the supermarket, and the person who checks me out is my parents' age or older, I feel badly that they don't have a lucrative job, or that they couldn't retire already.   Or if I go to a standard retail place like the Gap (ugh!) or H&M, and someone working there is between 40-60, I wonder how they can support a family or other people with dubious wages.  Sometimes this sensitivity to others emotions gets me in trouble, when other people want to be closed off, or don't want empathy.  But at its simplest level, I just don't understand why others can't feel what I feel, or want to be compassionate to others on a larger level.  Maybe that's a mystery of my life.

Listening to: Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks.   Am currently preparing for the mega drive tomorrow, with LOTS of tunes.