Sunday, March 22, 2009

Injuries suck.

Being injured, in any context, sucks.  Don't let anyone make believe otherwise, because it's a load of crap.  Whether you break an arm, fall off a bike, do something weird in yoga, or whatever, being hurt is a pretty unpleasant experience.  But...
The cool thing is, you can learn a lot from it.  I have, as of late, developed minor tendonitis in my wrist, where my thumb adjoins in the wrist, formally known as De Quervain's tendonitis.  I have managed to keep it pretty much at bay in the last week, by icing and not playing at all, but at first, it was beyond upsetting, since I felt like my life was over.  (it wasn't and it isn't, not yet, at least).  I had to play a little while I was teaching yesterday, and it was ok.  It gotten a little swollen at night time, since I taught for 2+ hours, but hopefully I can start actually playing in baby increments starting tomorrow. But here's some cool stuff I learned:
1) I actually want to play the viola.  This may not seem that amazing to some of y'alls, but it's something that's been up in the air for a while in may life.
2) I actually want a career where I play the viola and don't just teach little kids violin.
3) I want to teach older folks (high school and college) how to play the viola.  
4) Mental practicing is pretty helpful.  And so is solfege.  None of these substitute for the real deal of shredding on a viola, but they are helpful aids, and I appreciate that.  I've also clarified some of my musical ideas on the pieces I'm working on by studying them, rather than focusing on the playing bit.  (Except now, I really really really want to play!!!!)
5) and lastly, it has been basically spring break, part II, since I can't play much, and I'm just doing what I did on spring break, except with more socializing.  So it's really not that bad.
(On a side note, I have also clarified my desire to absorb as much of carol's awesome technical teachings as possible.  I've realized that I only have her for a year more now, and I want to get all of her top secret teaching ideas before I peace out.  I do wish I was the T.A., so I could technically practice this stuff on the right clientele, but for now, I'll just teach whomever seeks me out, and that'll suffice for now.)

Currently listening to: the Dears, Hindemith, (and i went to three sax concerts this weekend, so that counts)

Friday, March 13, 2009

I don't accept.

My body is falling apart.  Yours probably is too.  But I will not accept this.  I feel like my entire body is just rapidly decaying in an accelerated fashion, but I'm probably just being dramatic.  Since Wednesday, i've had notable pain in my wrist and forearm, which quickly ended my dreams for a spring break filled with yoga and practicing.  Oh well.  On Tuesday, I was practicing Urdhva Dhanurasana, and managed to feel it quite severely in my lower back, which was also not on the agenda.  Why me, why now?  I am quite bad at accepting the slow  collapse of my body, the slow march towards death.  With all of the little ailments I've been experiencing, it's no wonder.  (Wrist, right knee, left lower back, and left foot).  Actually, I'd probably be better off just cutting off my left side and dealing with occasional knee discomfort.  The funny thing is, the wrist pain isn't linked to any one activity.  I probably played too much on Tuesday, combining a gig with a few hours of bold viola-ing, but it wasn't like one action initiated a well of pain.  So strange.  Now I'm trying the do anything to make it better, since I have to play in orchestra for the next few weeks, my jury is coming up, and carol will FLIP out if things aren't better by next week.  I had been applying heat to it, but now i'm icing it, which is probably what i should have been doing all along.   
      It's amazing how things in life can change at the blink of an eye.  One moment I was riding my bike in newton, the next thing i know, i have a small bout of semi-permanent knee pain.  Whether it's with the body or with people, life moves so fast, and we don't have the time to be prepared for it.  Our only hope is that we can greet the challenges we face with an open mind and stay with it.  With all the discomfort of my wrist, I've managed to keep my brain somewhat in control by reminding myself that 1) I'm on break, so I can heal better   2) At least I can feel my fingers and all of that stuff   3) I could have something worse, like cancer.    I'm not trying to suggest that I've been one big ray of sunshine about this, since I haven't.  But I'm at least trying to keep it together and not freak out too badly.  Things could be worse, things could be better.  But isn't that how it always is?

Currently listening to: Grizzly Bear and Radiohead.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Craigslist Personals Rochester: part II

On this illustrious first day of spring break, I thought I would use all of my extra time to 
A) take a "phatty" nap.  (i.e. 3 hour nap.) Granted, I went to bed after 3 and woke up at 8.
B) Read Craigslist Personals.  Here are some of the most recent winners:

"Looking for a Girl who fits my schedule."- The post had a small version of a spreadsheet schedule, and the instructions were "check out my schedule and see if we're a match."

"Looking for Girl with an awesome cell phone."- The post said, "Apple users need not apply."

"I want to bang a COUGAR!"- The ad then defined a cougar as an older woman who sexually pursues men 8 years or more her junior.  Then, there was a pic of a cougar (cat).

"Lookin' to plunder a fine booty...perhaps swab yar poopdeck too."- Ad then said, "I be settin' sail and need a first matey.  Wenches need only apply, no brutes allowed."

"seeking former hippie/hipster/twee." - "You will be the bonnie to my clyde.  Between 21 and 28, older than your age. Care enough about yourself to keep yourself in shape and thin. somewhat self-actualized.  likes paradoxes. vegetarian or vegan and not allergic to cats a plus.  maybe you've been mistaken for a lesbian because of your haircut."

"College Student seeking to get married for financial aid benefits." -Enough said.

"I am no longer a sushi virgin and thus I must post."- "The abstract horror of dealing with this whole survival of the fittest ideal is really getting me down. I'm tired of competing- Darwin had no love for those of us who just want to relax-enjoy the short years we have on this earth lying on the green grass looking for buddha shaped clouds in the sky...Won't you join me??"

And while I like to think that I'm an equal opportunity reader, most of the "m4m" ads are quite pornographic, with titles like "looking to suck your *(&^ immediately" and "Uncircumcised welcome."  So for now, we'll move on.  I'm only interested in highly entertaining ads-these don't cut it.  So let's look at "w4m"

"Country girl from heaven."- I'm scared.
"Seeking God-centered romance."-hmmm
"Must have teeth."- scary thought.
"Part teddy bear part butterfly."- Sounds like an attack of Lisa Frank zombies.  
"any veggie guys?"- that makes me laugh.
"musically influenced beautitian".  Sadly, she spelled beautician wrong.  
'Seeking abercrombie type of guy...with a personality." -good luck with that.
"Are you the cheese to my macaroni?"- I just had to put that in. The juno lover in me appreciated it.  In general, there were lots of posts with such words as social butterfly, teddy bear, angel, knight in shining armor, etc.  Scary thought.

And for the grand finale, we will be examining "w4w", a category I've never perused before.  I can't imagine that they would be as lewd as "m4m," but let's see.
"i'm like a waterfall!!!!"- I don't even know what means.  I don't want to.
"Why can't people read?"- I agree.  Good question.
"Wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves."- LOVE it.
This was the category with the least ads.  But quality tops quantity, eh?  

I finished off the craigslist joy by perusing the "missed connections." There were some classy ads such as:
"Saw you at Wegmans", "You work at the Walmart Pharmacy," "Burger King window clerk," "In search of Cookie Nook cutie in Pink," "Sexy guy at library whering (sp!) grey white sweatshirt" (clearly she was at the library for a reason),  "Andrew the AAA tow truck guy-I miss you," and more.  

So what's the conclusion?  People
A) lack fundamental literacy and spelling abilities
B) are lonely (and quite possibly sex-deprived)
C)  are entertaining
D) post goofy ads so people like me can enjoy them.

In other news, I tried to make cookies, and instead got a congealed pile of cookie smush.  The dough was excellent though- I don't know what went wrong.  I made cookies with a different recipe yesterday with no problems.  
Currently listening to: my ipod's on shuffle this week, so I've been enjoying lots of tune-age.



Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Forgiveness?

       on Saturday, I went with my friends to see "the Reader," a classic story addressing issues of guilt and innocence.  Here's the setup: a teenage boy starts having a torrid *and i mean SEXY* love affair with an older woman (hello Mrs. Robinson!).  She's kind of a nut, but he's head over heels for her- until she leaves without any notice, and he never sees her again.  Ten years later, she's on trial for being a Nazi S.S. Guard, something our dear little boy never knew about.  He's in law school, observing the trial, and he's wracked with guilt over the trial, the proceedings, and what determines guilt.  The movie is good, but not amazing, but I really enjoyed the issues the film raised.  
        in the movie, we are forced to examine our perspectives on guilt.  Should all Germans feel guilty for being part of the Holocaust?  Is it ever right to kill someone, even if it's your job and you do it mercifully?  Our S.S. women tried very hard to be a merciful guard-although all of the other women on trial say that she was the leader of them all.  A specific incident in question  brings a survivor and her daughter to the stand to testify, saying that the guards did not help them get out of a burning barn, in which they were all trapped.  This incident seals the deal, and our women goes to jail for twenty years, even though she wasn't the primary protagonist in the crime.  It was so interesting to see this issue from a different viewpoint- we always sympathize with the Jewish people (as we should!), but it was so fascinating to feel sympathy for the other side.  
As a western culture, we tend to lump together the individuals with their national policy (middle east!, the Christian right, etc.  It made me reexamine my viewpoints about these issues, since I have these views as well.  However, it's these ideas of "eye for an eye" that lead us to mass destruction and war and hate, and if we were able to peaceably forgive, we wouldn't have these issues.  Forgiveness is so hard- I have issues with it, and I'm hardly a high profile person.  The perfect example of this is the Dalai Lama, and his views on China.  Even though China has continually done terrible things to Tibet and his people, he is able to calmly approach the issue and not desire vengeance.  I suppose if we are able take this huge idea and put it into our lives in small ways, maybe things can improve.  
If someone cuts you off on the freeway, rather than speeding past them in another lane, just letting it go.  If someone doesn't hold a door for you or an elevator or something small, just letting it go.  I'm not trying to equate a holocaust with day to day grievances, but instead trying to think how I can learn something from this situation.  I think that peaceful resolution is the best way to solve things, especially after watching lots of gratuitous violence in the new movie "the Watchmen."  Maybe if we can learn to let go of the little things, others will catch on, and the movement will grow, and there will be less need for human-caused hate and suffering.