Tuesday, September 15, 2009

the wedding blues

So I went to a very nice, very beautiful wedding this weekend, and I realized these things:
1) I have an irrational fear of driving on high bridges over bodies of water
2) I have an irrational fear of never being loved.

Now, most people are cynics and say, "yes, weddings are awful if you're single, especially if you don't have a guest." This thought had simply never occurred to me, and I'd just never experienced it before. never before (ok, not since high school dances) have i felt so awkwardly single, lonely, and bizarre as i did at this wedding. here's why:
1) i only knew 4 other people there, which consisted of two couples.
2) salsa dancing is not a group effort, it is a dance of couples.
3) i was the only single person at the table, and one of 5 or 6 single ladies at the wedding.
4) not knowing people + salsa dancing= awkward feeling of singledom being an affliction, which i was already well aware of.

So, here's the scoop: let single people bring guests, even if they are friends and not biffles or lady friends. Let people bring guests if they're travelling from far away and they are staying in a hotel alone. Let people bring guests when you've had a flurry of last minute cancellations. A wedding is absolutely all about YOU (the bride and groom) but it is also about the sacred witnessing of the collective of your vows. The community of friends and family has gathered as a witness, as a "sangha," as support, and as people who value you as friends and as a couple. If you support your community a bit, you're supporting yourself, i think.

anyways, the wedding ceremony was very beautiful, nice dresses, tasteful decor, nice location, nice vows...all the things that will be remembered in history were great. and that's what really counts.

listening to: bach 6

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

was this meena and aristides' wedding??

ps. yes, if at all possible, avoid salsa if you're single, unless it's at a bar with rows of hot latin men who know what they're doing, and will show you a good time anyway.

Sarai said...

...i agree unless the wedding is within your family--the singleness is very much felt.

i have an irrational fear that i will never have a career playing music.

^wait, that fear isn't so irrational...shit.