Thursday, January 15, 2009

On harmony

So, this week, I decided to appease a select few's constant nagging and look at online dating, just to see what the fuss is about.  As someone with limited real-life canoodling experience, i was definitely intimidated, but I figured, "hell, this is anonymous, and I'll probably never meet these people anyway..."  So i gave it a four day trial.
Sunday:  I filled out a really long survey.  Like 30 minutes long.  About my reactions to stress, my abilities to communicate, my likes and dislikes, my activities, my religious preferences, my racial preferences (?), my height preferences, my personal view of my appearance, etc.  I felt pretty bruised afterwards-I kept asking myself questions afterwards like "Do i respond to stress "well" or "somewhat"?  Do I approve of my appearance "well" or "somewhat"?  I was totally weirded out by the whole questions.  (Am I highly self-critical if I say things like, "I feel 'somewhat' ok about my appearance?)    Within a few hours, an array of matches popped up which were supposed to be linked by "29 Dimensions of Personality."  I didn't bother to read my matches until the next morning.
Monday: 7 or 8 matches...  I was really nervous about reading these people's profiles.  Would they be able to see my profile?  What would they think of my profile? AH!  But then, I read the profiles, and I wasn't too worried.  There were people with interests that either matched listening to music, cooking, or reading.  However, some of the consequences were strange.  They liked to read, but they liked to read...John Grisham!  (fail, epic fail.)  They liked to cook, but they like to...hunt!  (triple fail).  They like to listen to music but they like Pearl Jam, ACDC, or Dreamtheater!  (not going there).  So at least for today, these suckers didn't do much for me.

Wednesday:  oooh!!!  Some really good matches today.  My fav's were a graphic designer from Ithaca, a pharmacist from Pennsylvania with a penchant for vegetarian food, and the grand winner...(wait for it, wait for it) Shiva! (a Buddhist Indian vegan!).  I find out that some of these people have initiated "contact" with me by asking generic questions like "what last 5 books have you read?" "What do your friends not know about you?" I come up with a variety of good answers, but I decide not to respond, because I'm terrified.  But I'm so entertained by "Shiva" that I chuckle all day.

Thursday: I decide to actually fill out responses to these gentlemen callers, but I have recurring worries.  What if they ask about my former boyfriends?  What if I have to go on dates?   These and other scary thoughts begin to permeate my consciousness.  But...I fill out the responses and get ready to send them off, when I find out that I can't communicate with my matches without giving eharmony my soul, i mean my money.  And hell, this shit ain't cheap!  For 12 months in advance, you're paying 20 a month, and it gets more $$$ depending on how many months you pay for.  (1 month- 60, 3 months-40, etc)   At that, I quickly decided I needed to discontinue my little adventure, because otherwise, i'd be tempted to subscribe, and I have no money, or at least no money for this sort of thing right now.  It was fun to create an online persona that actually attracted viewers, but unfortunately, I don't have the courage or the $$$ to fulfill this sort of thing.  I also have such a fear of going on dates with strangers, that perhaps this wouldn't be the best route for me right now.

Verdict:  Eharmony might work for people with some cha-ching in their lives, however, for this girl, who doesn't date much, it might not work out too well.  But it did boost my self-confidence for a few days!

Currently listening to: Viva la Vida by Coldplay and Yann Tiersen.

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