WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????
If this video is any indication of things, then you have FAILED. You stole my heart with your 90's songs like "Only in Dreams," "Buddy Holly," and "Pink Triangle." You made me sensibilities smile with your geeky glasses and ugly sweaters. And then, you forgot to age, and continued writing the same songs, only much much worse, for the last 12 years. Here's the stats:
1) You were born in 1970, so you are 39 right now. And yet, your latest album has references to macking it with girls wearing Abercrombie. Are you a pedophile? Did you notice that you got married in the last years? Or did you miss that point?
2) Here are some of your lastest and greatest (worst) songs in the past few years: "We are all on Drugs," "Beverly Hills" (hate that song!), "Pork and Beans" and now this, this famed collaboration with Kenny G. Yes, Kenny G.
3) What inspired you to do this? Kenny G is a smooth jazz soprano sax player. "Hmm, just what my alternative rock song needs. Some smooth jazz. Oh yeah." Wrong. Fail.
4) Everything you do now is self-serving attention seeking behavior. Weezer snuggies. Working Kenny G and Chamillionaire? You are on "YO Gabba Gabba" in insect costume? Is there anything else weird that you are doing?
So, in closure, I'd just like to say that I'm very disappointed in you, Rivers. I thought I could fancy you forever, but now, you're just old, weird, and writing songs that appeal to the intellect of a 13 year old. Too bad.
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